Monday, January 31, 2011
The Descent Into Hell
The lesson in yesterday's Bible Class was the Descent Into Hell. Halfway through the class one man said that he could understand the point. He could relate to the descent into hell. He had traveled from St. Paul to Lambeau Field for a Vikings-Packers game and that was a descent into hell.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
"People Always Assume God Is Filthy Rich"
I picked up a copy of The Onion when I was in downtown Minneapolis yesterday. This story caught my attention and I wanted to share it with the readers of Lutheran Colportage. This is a joke.
ONION RELIGION BUREAU
WASHINGTON - A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesman for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million - and most of that is tied up in real estate. " According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of under-performing religions.
[source: The Onion, January 13, 2011, Vol. 47 Issue 62]
Report: Majority of Money Donated At Church Doesn't Make It To God
ONION RELIGION BUREAU
WASHINGTON - A shocking report released Monday by the Internal Revenue Service revealed that more than 65 percent of the money donated at churches across the world never reaches God. "Unfortunately, almost half of all collections go toward administrative expenses such as management, utilities, and clerical costs," said Virginia Raeburn, a spokesman for the Lord Almighty, adding that another 25 percent of heavenly funding is needed just to cover payroll for angelic hierarchy. "People always assume God is filthy rich, but they'd be surprised to learn His net worth is only around $8 million - and most of that is tied up in real estate. " According to Raeburn, God currently has enough money to live comfortably throughout all eternity, but He may be forced to shutter a number of under-performing religions.
[source: The Onion, January 13, 2011, Vol. 47 Issue 62]
Friday, January 14, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
Epiphany Collect
Lord God, heavenly Father, You have given us the light of Your holy Word, the guiding star that leads us to the Christchild: Send, we beseech You, Your Holy Spirit into our hearts, that we may receive this light and make use of it for our salvation, and that we, like the wise men, when they were seeking the star, may not be afraid because of any hardship or peril, but put all our trust in Your only-begotten Son as our only Savior, devote our earthly possessions to the advancement of Your kingdom, and in all things serve Him, Your only-begotten Son, Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one true God, SAECULA SAECULORUM. Amen. [from Evangelical Lutheran Hymnary]
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